My Local World

Wherein we have opinions on car parking

For those of you who are not from Hoover, or are not in the Facebook Group “Hoover Vote,” I’ll share a little background. There has been a discussion going on for the last few days about parking ordinances in residential neighborhoods in Hoover. This was triggered by one of our city councilmen who was approached by citizens asking for an ordinance prohibiting overnight parking on the street, and also prohibiting parking on front lawns. He asked what people thought. And wow, did he get responses!

People get bent out of shape about cars being parked on the streets. Bent. Out of shape. Except for the people who park on the streets, that is.

Hoover is a sprawling suburb and we have no public transportation, so almost everyone has a car. Some families have more cars than licensed drivers. Two-car garages are probably the most prevalent, but some houses have more, and a lot of houses have carports, and a few have none. Our streets are narrow, and there are no marked parallel parking spaces in any residential neighborhood I know of. But neither are the streets marked with “No Parking” signs.

Anyway, the parking on the street issue is not one the city can legislate with a blanket ordinance. There are too many cars. And most people are not going to deal with musical moving of cars when the kids are home from college, or the grandparents are in town.

But the other issue, the one about parking on front lawns, is the one where the rubber meets the road. Or the grass. You know what I mean.

The most interesting comments are the ones from people who say, of course, we must allow street parking sometimes; my kids come home from college, and we have friends over, or there are parties, or Bible studies, and so on. But parking on front lawns? We get really judgey about that.

My homeowner’s association (which is not one of the very strict ones) occasionally mentions in the newsletter that it is unsightly for cars to be parked on front lawns, and please don’t do it. As far as I can tell, that has no effect. The people who do it continue to do it. It doesn’t bother me because I can clearly see that their only other choice would be parking on the street. If they want to park on their own lawn, rather than on the street, who am I to complain?

But the interesting thing is the different rationale for why people should not park in their own yards. It is not unsafe or unlawful.

It’s tacky.

Yes, people in my town want to outlaw tacky. It sends a chill down my spine, because I get my life from tacky.  I grew up in the country, where people had lawn art, and sometimes lawn chickens, and our house had no fence between the yard and the pasture and we ate breakfast with the cows staring in placidly at us from three feet away. We parked in the yard, the dogs ran free, and we had numerous “outbuildings” and disabled vehicles. My parents grew up during the Depression, and they didn’t get rid of things. We hung our clothes out to dry on a clothesline. We didn’t have these, because my mom came from town, but if other folks did have those half tires painted white and set in the ground to form a border, it meant they CARED about their home and their image in the community. Uppity.

So I accept the possibility that my “tacky” meter is calibrated differently.

I love bottle trees, and flower pots hanging on fences, and tomato plants in the front yard, and bird houses made from gourds. I love a profusion of mixed, crazy wildflowers, sidewalk paths inset with multicolored shards of broken dishes, and ivy tumbling over stone walls. I love those old metal gliders from the 40’s like my grandmother had on her front porch. My neighbors got a new toilet the other day and set the old one out by the street. I drove by it several times before it was taken away, thinking that in Red Hill, Alabama, that baby would have been a flower planter in a heartbeat. Morning Glories. I sort of grieved for it.

glider2

I just can’t help feeling, when I read some of these comments, that some folks would really like it best if everyone in the neighborhood was more …how shall I put it…homogeneous. Fewer wildflowers, more begonias. There is a lot of concern about the “older neighborhoods” like mine, where the houses, and the people, are not so new and shiny anymore. We’ve aged, kids have grown up, and we’ve had illnesses and knee replacements. Maybe our houses and yards show it a little. Or worse, maybe we’ve moved to a house better suited to our health and abilities to keep it up, and have relegated the house with the big yard to ………. (yeah, I’m about to say it)……….renters. (Duh-duh-dunnnnnh!)

I swear, you would think renters were about to cause the collapse of civilized life in Hoover. They park on the lawns, people say. The live too many to a house, people say. They don’t care, people say.  And sometimes they are black or brown, but people don’t say that.

Personally, I don’t really know how you spot a renter. It’s not like you can bring it up when they move in and you go over to introduce yourself. “Hi, here’s a cake I made to welcome you to the neighborhood, and, by the way, are you buying or renting this house?”

My mother taught seventh graders for over thirty years, and she had a saying, “Let every tub sit on its own bottom.” The seventh graders liked it because it had the word “bottom” in it, which made them snicker, but what she simply meant was mind your business and don’t tattle on each other.

I think we need that advice now. I see no evidence that property values are affected by the parking habits of my neighbors. I think what makes our property valuable and our homes sought after is that our neighborhoods are nice, welcoming places, where we know each other’s names, and are aware when someone on the street is in the hospital, or has a new baby, or gets a new son or daughter-in-law. Let’s not judge each other from afar, but try to be the kind of neighbors we want to have.

I know my neighbors reading this are thinking, “Is this that Hermit Woman on Russet Cove Circle writing this?” Because I am. I own it. I am an introvert, and an inside person. Coming over to introduce myself or inviting everyone over to grill out is SO out of my comfort zone. But I know you all. I know your names and your children and who leaves for work at what time. If you are renters, I couldn’t care less. I DO care if your car won’t start and you need jumped off, or if your dog or cat is lost, or if you need eggs or sugar, or a ladder or long extension cord. I am right here, neighbor.

Just please don’t judge my weedy yard.

My Local World

I tend to get carried away

For Christmas, I bought myself hiking boots. They are lovely boots, comfortable and light, yet sturdy. I wore them around town for several days, getting used to the feel of them and making sure they didn’t have any spots that hurt.

Last Saturday, on one of those rare winter days when the weather is the perfect mix of warm sunshine and brisk breeze, Gary and Ben and I went out to Oak Mountain State Park and hiked part of the yellow trail.

My out-of-shapeness was clear, but the guys were patient.

“You better not be taking pictures of my butt,” she said, hearing the clicking shutter as she bent, hands on knees, sucking in oxygen.

“Nah, I’d have to changes lenses,” he replied, focusing on a hawk in the distance.

“Ha. Ha. Wide angle?”

“Fish eye,” he commented solemnly, adjusting the camera’s settings, and not looking at her.

We only hiked a few miles on a fairly easy trail, but there were streams with bridges, ferns, fallen trees covered with moss, and hawks circling. I am a notoriously indoor person, but it was beautiful and I am hooked.

I want to hike all the trails, and learn about the plants and trees. I want to recognize the hawks, and I want to see the owls that we only heard before.

And I want to sleep out there. I want to backpack in, with a tent and a sleeping bag, and food for our dinner, and sleep out there in the terrifying darkness.

Most of my family are risk-takers. They run marathons, race boats and cars, they ski, they jump off high places into water. My son went to Europe at 13. My other son randomly takes off on road trips with friends, with no worry about where he’s going to sleep. If there’s a sign that says “Danger,” my husband is going to do the very thing that it says not to do.

I am not so much a risk-taker. I am a bookworm, a studier, a dreamer, a learner. I am always the one who knows what foods are a salmonella risk. I carry hand sanitizer. I am the one who has a whistle in my day pack.

But I want to go into the woods, carrying my stuff on my back. And one of these days, I want to do it alone.

So, this is a goal of mine now. I plan to day hike ever increasing distances until I am in better shape. I am going to start collecting the appropriate backpacking gear. And some time this year, I am going to load my stuff on my back and walk into the woods and set up my little campsite and sleep out in the wide, wild world.

I am 58 years old. I figure it’s time to get out of my comfort zone.

 

My Local World · Politics

The direction of my dreams

One of my favorite quotes is: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined. ~ Henry David Thoreau

I have recently learned that it is a misquote. The entire quotation comes from Thoreau’s Walden, and is: “I learned this, at least, from my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours… In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness.”

Damn, Thoreau.

That is MUCH more deep. And does not fit on a coffee mug. Continue reading “The direction of my dreams”

My Local World

We embrace our weirdness in Alabama

I just read a traffic tweet that says the right lane is closed and there’s a 15 minute delay “at the devil will get you sign.” It doesn’t even have to say what highway they are talking about.

If you’ve driven much north or south through Alabama, you know the “Devil” sign off Interstate 65 at Deatsville. I don’t know who owns the land, but everyone knows the place.

The message is pretty blunt. No beating around the bush.

GotoChurchORtheDevilwillGetyou

My Local World

Good news

A chic local brunch place is serving chicken and waffles Sunday morning. That’s what I feed the little girl I babysit every time I keep her. I didn’t know it was a thing, I just thought I was a bad babysitter with no imagination. Who knew she’s actually a cool, hipster toddler?

I wonder if Bottletree Cafe has thought of giving a purple Peep to customers who clean their plates?

My Local World

It’s tough out there for a clip-art guy

Will no one think of the clip art people? How would you like to always have to be good-looking, smiling and interested in whatever BS cause or promotion someone decided to cut-and-paste you into? I weep for them, and how used they must feel.

This made me snort.

Now, someone in the comments pointed out that clip-art-minority man is supposed to represent “Everyman,” happily reaping the benefits of the wonderful works of all the dead conservative visionaries looming above him (and bonus Asian clip-art female). And good point.  I mean, I know how concerned Jesse Helms was about young black men in America, but to see it visually depicted in a massive banner backdrop really brings it home.

My Local World

The Yellow Letter “G”

Okay, Gawker is a gross site, and I do not approve of people being outed in this “gotcha” manner, but it came across my Twitter feed and I clicked.

Sue me.

Yes, another self-righteous “ex-gay” blogger is “caught” cruising for dudes on a gay social networking site. Not exactly earth-shattering news, but what did strike me was how most of the comments showed so much sympathy and compassion for this young man’s situation.

I guess I should not be surprised, really. Everyone knows a LGBT person who is living, or has lived, a false life. So it is not surprising that many of the commenters wanted to say to this guy, “Stop hating yourself. Stop trying to please a church that will never love you and will never accept you as God made you.”

I understand completely the desire to be accepted, particularly by one’s church, which is often connected to acceptance by one’s family. There is so much affirmation, so much delight, when a “sinner” comes back to the fold and “sins no more.” It is hard for any person  not to just go with it, please everyone, play the part, be the good girl or boy and be one of the accepted group that God loves best.

But how heartbreaking. He blogged about feeling “overwhelming loneliness.” Imagine feeling that, as well as feeling like a fraud and a failure every day as you are praised and rewarded for your supposed strength and godliness in turning away from homosexuality. I can’t believe in a God who wants that kind of pain. I don’t want to attend a church that praises and condones living a lie.

The older I get, the more adamant I am about being who I genuinely am, and the more important I think it is for young people to be allowed to be who they are.

In tenth grade, while studying “The Scarlet Letter” my son had a project in which he had to choose a word he felt described him, create a decorated version of the first letter of that word, and wear it around his neck all day. He had to explain to anyone who asked what his word was, and how it described him

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His word was GENUINE.

And I loved that, because he is. Kind of brutally honest, he has the freedom to be who he is: quirky, funny, over-sensitive, good, but not perfect. Not gay, but if he was, he’d be just as free to be himself, and just as loved.

How much would I like to say to Matt Moore to just let go of the false glory of being an important person in a church that will never, ever allow you to be genuine. Find a church that accepts LGBT people and affirms your faith and accepts that God made millions of different kinds of people, and some of them are gay. Make friends who like you for everything you are, who will forgive you for trying to live a false life because they’ve probably done it, too. Maybe you’ll find someone to love who shares your faith, but even if you don’t, you won’t spend every day lonely and hating yourself.

I know, easy for me to pontificate from my suburban marriage with the 2.0 kids. But one of the biggest regrets of my life is an event that happened when I was attending a small, Southern Baptist college and I was accused by some of my sorority sisters of being a lesbian. They required me to sign a statement affirming that I was not homosexual in order to remain a member, and they threatened to notify the University and my parents if I did not sign. I was 19 years old. I am not a lesbian. But I was terrorized into signing the thing.

It will shame me until the day I die that I didn’t remove my pin and walk out. When it came to being a genuine person, and standing up against something I knew was wrong, I failed miserably.

But one failure, or many, does not define us. Matt Moore – Move on, you’re already out. Embrace who you are, while holding tight to the faith that is obviously important to you. Stop visiting creepy dating sites and find genuine love. And most of all, love yourself.

My Local World

A little sanity, any time now, would be good…

I know that Wayne LaPierre knows his audience. And he knows his job.

His audience is that subset of gun owners who are just, frankly, batshit crazy. That’s who he is working up into a frothing, fearful, screeching frenzy of outrage. It’s his job, so that those people rush out to WalMarts and gun stores and gun shows and buy more guns and ammunition.

I understand that it’s what he gets paid for. And the news media gives him a platform to do it by printing and repeating his crazy allegations that the President said things in his Inaugural Address that he simply did not say. I guess LaPierre is counting on the fact that his target (no pun intended) audience was busy counting their hoarded canned goods on Monday and didn’t listen to the Inaugural Address, and therefore won’t know that the President did not mention guns at all.

But when, I wonder, will normal, regular gun owners start to get uncomfortable with the nutcases dominating the discussion and making them all look crazy? When will someone take LaPierre aside as say, “Wayne, buddy. You need to dial it down. You’ve got this. AR-15s are flying off the shelves. Ammunition is selling at three times the normal rate. But you’re starting to make us look a little kooky, and we aren’t all kooks.”