Blogging · Nonsense · The Dreaded House · Writing

She’s Back and in a Bad Mood

cat-1865538_1920 (1)Not really. Not a bad mood. Just the perpetual anxiety of living in the US with Donald Trump as President. It has been long enough that I have given up hope that it is a bad dream. So I retreated into the world I have a little bit of control over. I cleaned out my closet and conducted a brutal purge of my wardrobe. Same with the hall linen closet. Don’t laugh, I am really proud of these tiny accomplishments.

My writing has really taken a hit. Something about fearing the end of American democracy is bad for one’s creativity. My daily writing is not blog-worthy. It’s more like primal scream therapy, with a keyboard.

But blog I must. So bear with me readers, as I get some bad and emotional writing out of the way. Today, I share my pet peeves. Maybe you can relate, and smile.

I can’t say I have a “pet” peeve. I have many peeves that I love equally.

Some peeves are fleeting and some are enduring. Technology has given birth to a fertile new medium for growing peeves.

Things I spend a lot of time being annoyed by:

Warning for curmudgeonliness, bad language, and possible stepped-on toes.

That person who is assigned by Target to lurk by the self check-out. You can’t have it both ways, Target. Either you trust us to check ourselves out without stealing, or you don’t. Additionally, if I wanted human interaction, I would go to one of the two registers you have open.

People who park on the street at the crest of the blind hill in my neighborhood, oblivious to the traffic problem they are causing. Do they really not notice that school bus they are forcing to top the hill on the wrong side of the road?

Parents who “homeschool” their kids at the mall, grocery store, and coffee shop. Why yes, I’m judging YOU. So your kid is a genius and you covered all the core subjects really quickly? Then teach them a foreign language or two, or how to play an instrument. Up the challenge.

People who pass on the right on the Interstates. Bless their hearts. (And I mean that in the Southern way.)

Related, people who can’t maintain proper car spacing. Really, treat yourself to a couple of extra inches before you swerve over in front of me. I’ll wait.

Computer updates that start when you’re trying to turn your computer off and say, “Don’t turn off your computer. This may take a while.” Thanks, HAL, for the hostage situation.

Related, computer updates that change my settings. I have it like I want it. No, I don’t want to save power by having my screen go to sleep every thirty seconds. For the love all that is holy.

Air travelers with enormous carry-on bags. If you can’t lift it over your head, it’s not a carry-on. You KNOW this, people.

People who walk their dogs on those extendable leashes that let the dog roam 40 feet in any direction. If your leashed dog can run in the street in front of my car, you don’t understand how to operate a leash. Don’t give me that look, either. You know what you did.

Those credit card readers that scream “REMOVE CARD NOW” and make a sound like a civil defense siren. How NOT to make shopping a pleasant experience.

Pop-up ads on my cell phone. What the actual fuck?

Movie trailers that show you pretty much the whole movie. Thanks, you just exhausted all my interest in that plot.

Ben Affleck movies where he is the good guy. I can’t explain it adequately. His eyes are not good guy eyes.

Any and all McDonald’s drive throughs. Even in the first world, life is too short for that bullshit.

I’m grateful that with the passage of time, I can release some of my peeves to make room for others. For instance, I no longer have to think about all the peeves associated with middle school (except occasionally in my nightmares.) Same, being lectured by the pediatrician about my kids’ “screen time.” Which reminds me, I should let Dr. P know that I obviously did read to my kids enough, because the tattoo my youngest came home from college with is spelled correctly.

Not every parent can say that.

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